Monday, July 07, 2008

Thoughts from the past...part 1

Something which i had penned up a few years back, during one of those feeling "bare it all" moments! makes perfect sense upto this date! read on!

I have all things one would need to lead a comfortable life. Thank you my lord. You've given me all i "need".

But for this vaccum. An Empty feeling to go with!

It accompanies like a mandatory dessert thurst upon following a hearty meal onto a hunger starved stomach and thanks to the dessert - ending up with an upset stomach!

:) Yes! it does have a trace of humour in a way! In your own mysterious way!

The most trusted folks mistake me! When all looks just perfect and in serene harmony, off comes a storm from nowhere, sudden and unexpected. Issues of one or the other kind.

Well yes! Things do get settle down over a while, not very unlike the storm calming down eventually and ... alas - certainly leaving away the marks of its fury!

The impact is profuse, when it is with trusted folks!

Life, as am observing ... unfolds itself in an interesting cycle. Only the exact sequence of happenings & the duration does vary.

For starters, lets say ... it all starts on a happy note, there's this period of absolute bliss... Calm & Content feel all around.... in and out...@home,, wealth, friends & relatives.

..and then comes a twist!
something happens...
and the harmony is disrupted.

Lets say @ office... a sudden political issue/crisis crops up out of nowhere... or a project failure! It boils and boils and reaches its pinnacle... before finally subsiding ever so slowly... leaving for sure a trail of damages!

This phase, especially related to ofc gets me worried and insecure easily... and often shatters whatever is left of my ego. As the side effects it gets me onto a depressive cycle, and at times reaching to the extents of wrecking havoc on my confidence.

But again...! Things Change!

As and when just recovering from this, the next tide will fall over as fast as the previous. This time lets say it'd be the home front!
A new battlefield... sometimes the elders, sometimes the betterhalf, sometimes its myself and at times its the triggers from the outsiders ... the relatives!

Unprecedented ... unnecessary arguments, flares of anger, outbursts & showers of emotions. Though these would be very short lived (off late! :) and ever so thankful to the almighty). RCA most often than never, traces the core causes to misunderstandings, misinterpretations, perspectives... mostly driven by lack of patience and fueled by assumtions (thoughts without being voiced & confirmed for clarity).

Negativity...Distruptive emotions and assumptions take up the drivers' seat, pushing back the positive outlooks and magnanimous let go / forgive n forget attitude..., killing naivity, ignoring innocence ...

all in all in their combined chaos driving themselves and others with swells of pain!

As the sun rises bringing light to the day... day after day, driving away the darkness .. So does these issues subside and wane away, but surely after living up their tenure, as does the night lasts for 12 hours! :)

Then strikes the health factor! oh my! this one is pathetic of all!
Makes me hate doctors, nurses, hospitals, pharmacists & the pharma companies! (these are my personal experiences. there are certainly doctors and institutions i respect and take in awe - but they are a few in thousands if not in millions! :))

its a loooooooong post, and hence ... to be continued!