Sunday, May 17, 2009

A Different kind of loneliness…

I have it all…

A generous share of happiness, an emotional rollercoaster of a family, equal share of concerns & issues… and the most precious of all, a rational & inquisitive mind – ever in search of knowledge and the ability to contemplate and accept, with a heart that places others before self!

It’s like being in multiple planes … of existence all at the same time.

  1. A very physical & emotional web of people -  family, friends & relations – a mixed conservative arena with well set bounds!
  2. Another plane of objective creativity – work, futuristic things et. al. with no bounds whatsoever.
  3. And finally this plane of self-realization, a space for myself where am left alone myself and with my thoughts. This is where it happens … the more i realize, the more i look inwards, the more lonelier i feel. All the books & writings point to a very simple fact of finding god within self and experience the oneness.And i just want that …. No more! But, am not even able to feel let alone “experience” – not even the distant presence of the vast oneness within me!

That calls for a still mind perhaps! :( In which case, am not even a toddler in that direction).

Oh but, how i would love to have a companion through this journey if not for the guiding spirit!

But something tells me, that I'll find what am looking for… if only i keep myself from straying away from the focus!