Vulnerability!

A day that can't be forgotten. the day aditya made me scared and made me feel helpless.

It is the same helpless, vulnerable feeling, with a pang of fear of unknown... that

had struck me when mom was down all of a sudden with diabetic fluctuations and then

during sathya's early days of pregnancy..

oh yeah, and of-course on the tension filled moments of aditya's delivery.



coming back, Junior was all fit and fine, until late night. we had taken him out to temple and back.

Aditya looks to be pretty sensitive with the sounds and the environ around him. He prefers

serenity, calm and peace. He is at his playful best within a peaceful environ.



Around 12ish PM, he started crying, started first with minor disturbances in his sleep and developed

into a non-stop, incessent crying - inspite of trying out a slew of alternates to get him calmed

down.



Toys, songs, lullabies, swinging from shoulder to shoulder of mom,dad,grandma & granddad,

rocking in the swing, mom's feed, cerelac, walking around with him on shoulders...

nothing ... nothing would calm him down.



Sathya remembered suddenly to give him the colic drops even after which the crying wouldn't

subside. she was in tears, watching him cry not knowing why and what was troubling the little

infant...



It for once made me weak, and got me onto the panic mode... not knowing what to do.

but to pray... dear god!

and the stark vulnerability struck me another time!



Called tilak.... around 12.30ish, woke him up and asked if he could suggest something.

he advised colic and if it doesn't stop, get him to lakeside hospital where the doc's are available

24/7. esp. paedeatricians. Tilak called me later in a while and told most probably he should be

alright by the time we reach the hospital. That usually the kiddo would doze off during the drive.



We rushed him up... to lakeside., and fortunately thru the drive, kiddo remained silent but

for a few bouts of crying.



Lakeside had a paedeatrician, Dr. Shilpa, checked him up and certified him fine and healthy and

nothing to be worried about - but for that his kind of crying showed him in some pain.

Mostly colic or ear pain. Again the same advice - to provide the colic drops.



By now the kiddo had almost got back to his normal self. :) it was so heartwarming to watch him

smile, waving his arms in air and cooing... and reaching for the doctors' stethascope.



We got back home and with some advice from shilpa on how and when the drops had to be given and

what kind of gap should be given between administering different drops.



Its colic for stomach and crocin for the rest.



A night, that made me question myself again about our knowledge, our ability to control,

confidence and our beliefs! Sigh!



To look back a moment and contemplate how our parents would have brought us up, with

but half the modern amneties looks just what an uphill task it should have been and makes

me feel nothing in front of their resolve and determination. Salute to them!



Along with modernization and globalization of the world & breakthroughs in science et. al.,

we are but becoming more and more dependent on things - which ultimately makes us weak and lazy.





As long as it was bachelorhood, it was like the spirits of a raging bull, taking up life head on...

but now... with live dependents around you, and life teaching you by its experiences, reminding time and again

about who's the master here, the spirits wane... and subside - giving way to hope, trust and belief in the supernatural -

the Almighty.