Saturday, June 03, 2006

Should Friends(hip) be this difficult?

It was V's b'day on the 28th May.

Me, A & V along with P had planned to go out for a dinner. well, the actual plan was thus:

- V leaves ofc and reaches city by 6+
- So does me and A
- P was held up and could not commit a time. It was not a worrying thing with P's plans as he was an unexpected guest.
- K, (i should aptly call him - the MVM [Maamiyaar veetu Maapillai], as he chooses to have a velcro relation with his inlaws' afte marriage) - knowingly / unknowingly had responded as good as an outsider, when V had called him up earlier that day. As a close friend V was terribly hurt by K's response (or the lack of it) and his expectations had taken a terrible hit.
- In between this melee, me and A plan for something else : which is - We will go to temple and then to the blind school to distribute sweets and then off to a nice restaurant for dinner. [i had chosen three rest. after quite a search]
- It was 5.30 and i call up V.
- To my surprise and alarm, he cancells the whole evening's plan, giving his trademark avoidance trick by blaming it on the work.
- I feel pathetic. and Let it go, not knowing what exactly has caused this. And after this, V stops responding to my calls.
- I Call up A and tell him what happened. He is baffeled. V decides to withdraw into his shell and avoid all of us. And he doesn't pick up A's calls either.

Sigh!!! Quite a Day... Quite a Birthday indeed.
V's birthday gift still is lying at home. God knows when we are gonna be able to give him that.

It was actually after two days' time. i got to know what had triggered all this.
And one way it is alarming, to see the sensitivity of V in action - at its all time high!

Top #2 reasons for the debacle:
#1 V expected it to be a family event, and i had said it would be a bachelors' event as my family was not in a situation to take part (atleast for then)
#2 V was pissed off by K's (un) responsiveness. - (K has no justifications here - he's been married for 1.5 yrs now and running - his importance to his inlaws' has resulted in total negligance of friends)

And V had never mentioned his expectations on #1 - especially when he knows everything that's happening in my family.
I seriously don't see a reason why and how he can be so un-understanding the above point.

In the whole, V had successfully managed to spoil his own B'day and alongwith putting me and A in a fix, nowhere comforting by any means.
And what the heck, he's getting deeper into his shell with all the negative thoughts, churned out as a by product of the initial debacle and doesn't want to see matters by the mind and insists not to understand and to remain so in the negative phase.

Why do people expect to be understood without being communicative / expressive?
Why do people have unsaid expectations, on top of the bad communication and let themselves be affected and in the process, all others surrounding them?

Should friends(hip) be this difficult?
Time alone can reply. and perhaps!