Should Friends(hip) be this difficult?

It was V's b'day on the 28th May.

Me, A & V along with P had planned to go out for a dinner. well, the actual plan was thus:

- V leaves ofc and reaches city by 6+
- So does me and A
- P was held up and could not commit a time. It was not a worrying thing with P's plans as he was an unexpected guest.
- K, (i should aptly call him - the MVM [Maamiyaar veetu Maapillai], as he chooses to have a velcro relation with his inlaws' afte marriage) - knowingly / unknowingly had responded as good as an outsider, when V had called him up earlier that day. As a close friend V was terribly hurt by K's response (or the lack of it) and his expectations had taken a terrible hit.
- In between this melee, me and A plan for something else : which is - We will go to temple and then to the blind school to distribute sweets and then off to a nice restaurant for dinner. [i had chosen three rest. after quite a search]
- It was 5.30 and i call up V.
- To my surprise and alarm, he cancells the whole evening's plan, giving his trademark avoidance trick by blaming it on the work.
- I feel pathetic. and Let it go, not knowing what exactly has caused this. And after this, V stops responding to my calls.
- I Call up A and tell him what happened. He is baffeled. V decides to withdraw into his shell and avoid all of us. And he doesn't pick up A's calls either.

Sigh!!! Quite a Day... Quite a Birthday indeed.
V's birthday gift still is lying at home. God knows when we are gonna be able to give him that.

It was actually after two days' time. i got to know what had triggered all this.
And one way it is alarming, to see the sensitivity of V in action - at its all time high!

Top #2 reasons for the debacle:
#1 V expected it to be a family event, and i had said it would be a bachelors' event as my family was not in a situation to take part (atleast for then)
#2 V was pissed off by K's (un) responsiveness. - (K has no justifications here - he's been married for 1.5 yrs now and running - his importance to his inlaws' has resulted in total negligance of friends)

And V had never mentioned his expectations on #1 - especially when he knows everything that's happening in my family.
I seriously don't see a reason why and how he can be so un-understanding the above point.

In the whole, V had successfully managed to spoil his own B'day and alongwith putting me and A in a fix, nowhere comforting by any means.
And what the heck, he's getting deeper into his shell with all the negative thoughts, churned out as a by product of the initial debacle and doesn't want to see matters by the mind and insists not to understand and to remain so in the negative phase.

Why do people expect to be understood without being communicative / expressive?
Why do people have unsaid expectations, on top of the bad communication and let themselves be affected and in the process, all others surrounding them?

Should friends(hip) be this difficult?
Sigh!!!
Time alone can reply. and perhaps!

To Google:

Added my blog sitemap to google. :) via google sitemaps on 29th May 2006.
Cool.

Also, applied for google adsense today [for this blog].
Curious about how it works.

do you want to see your website as a beautiful flower?

An interesting way to look at your site (or for that matter any other site on the web, to see how it is organized)!Aharef: Websites as graphs

The author has used processing, traer.physics to bring out this beautiful rendering!

Well Worth a look!

Hey geek, let's SWARM!!!

Awesome!
Are you a geek?
Are you curious about the web?
Are you inquisitive?
Are you the kind to mine ideas and deduce patterns from cloud formations and flowering blossoms?

Well, i think SWARM is for you!

Check out!
Swarm the dot com

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A New Search Client

Quintura : A New tool to embrace the natural search as performed by a human mind.

5 problems with today's web search
Quintura - Download

just downloaded this client... looks promising.
will post later how this helps me in my searches.

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Time to leave?

LP came up with a news today. He has got a good offer : from a midsized s/w dev. firm with a good position and a good salary offer. (approx. 40% hike from his present package).

As a manager, i need him and treasure him, inspite of my stingy appreciations and raising my bar of expectations everytime. But as a friend i want him to prosper in life and to go places. Also, as a manager, i don't want to block his career progress. Well, Not an easy decision to make. But for sure, i've got to make his exit a smooth one with his credentials intact and a win-win for both him and the organization.

Time should tell...

Looking back....

Something triggered me to run on my own blog archieves.
i was curious... to read what i've blogged over the time...
and well, it was neither a very impressive penning nor a disappointment.

the blog entries are miniscule windows opening upto the memoirs and glimpses of my own life.
need to do this more. on a daily basis - if not, atleast weekly!!!

Recovery

M is recovering if not a bit slow, after the last week's disasters. Her blood sugars are under control now and following the diet & time.
Though she is still not back to her normal self.

In the process of her treatment, i had taken her to diacon, the diabetic speciality clinic in rajajinagar 1st block.
Man, had to say god was with us and he guided us to the right place at last, if not after all the sufferings.

A Humane clinic, with a humane treatment - they exactly knew what they were doing - the right things for a diabetic patient.
Right from food to the medications and to all the questions we had. They have a very nice presentation on diabetes which they play to all the patients, explaining the what's, why's, when's and how's along with do's and don'ts very patiently.

Spoke to the doctor, arvind, on contributing to the community of diabietics - anything that is possible from my side.
planning to launch a website / a patient friendly portal for diabetics.

Race, Jealousy

Found a novel way to keep me updated on the www happenings of ajax, javascript. - Google Alerts! cool and very useful.

Looking at the pace of ajax frameworks being churned out, makes me feel jealous one side and on the other side adds to the fire within to do something solid.

It has really been almost a year since i did any end-to-end development, if not for the bits and pieces of r&d i do.
tres mal! gotta act!!! and soon.

Good News Today!

S made me so happy today with the news : Junior Me is on the way.
9 months is going to be a long wait.
:) je suis heureux!!!

Pray the almighty, to provide S with all the strength and will.

What a beautiful day, it is today!!

A Warm, Pleasent and sunny morning.
Traces of rain over the night still fresh, with moist air, ah, this is just a perfect good ol' bangalore day!
:)
Not too sunny, neither cold or rainy.
A picture perfect day to lay down in the open air and to laze with a nice book and tea.

Thanks to sindhu @ radiocity, adding to the pleasent start with the choice of my favourite songs on air :
Chappa chappa, Rang Rang Rangeela, Kudi meri ...
That was a pleasent surprise, a bonus to such a great day.

Sweet!

Compfused.com - Sidewalk Drawings

Awesome sidewalk drawings!Look out for the last one (Batman & Robin) to the end of the page!

Read more at www.compfused.com/direc...

Diabetes India

http://diabetesindia.com/diabetes/index.htm
found this very detailed helpfuls site on the net.
the instructions & info. provided looks very promising and am going to try it out for mom.
let us see how it helps.

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atdotcom

Cool resource.
Single source for way many links.
Quite interesting.

@.com: Resource Linkage

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Blasted Moods

Not a very cheerful day it is, today!
- Struck by bouts of nostalgia (happened to be rummaging thru my pocket harddisk for something)
- Too many small things to be organized in a clear flow to speeden the current development
and much more!

Am angry on myself, for no apparent reason!
Am bugged, irritated and totally out of focus!
Arrgggghhh!
I hate this phase whenever it happens!

Troubles of the Fishy kind!!!

This happened a couple of days before.    Monday, May 1st to be precise. Dad bought a new fish bowl (in addition to the two aquarium we have), out of the blues.

I've to tell here why he bought it so. Longback, when the aquarium was set up, i had got along a few cichlids (locally known as the "blue morph"). These cichlids are quite territorial in nature and are rather aggressive and at times - ferocious. This had prevented dad in introducing any new fishes. (I'd given up going near the aquariums since dad started showing interest!) and thus, for the past cpl of months' dad had wanted to get rid of these cichlids.

back to our story, dad moved the cichlids down to the bowl, and i could do nothing but watch hopelessly and help him do that! (Resistance is futile you see!!!).

And the thrid evening after this relocations, i found the bowl empty to my dismay. To my shock, mom told me the cichlids had kicked the bucket just the day after they were relocated.

Sigh!!! Arrrrrggggghh!

I've got them when they were merely a few cm's in length and to watch them grow to a cpl of inches (almost 4-5) over a years' time. Sad to see them gone!

But now, as the saying goes, all is for good, my main aquarium is free of any aggressors (apart from a tiger barb) and is all set to play host for a melange fishy community.

Well, that is not all to the fishy troubles... there's More that happened on that fateful day. I'll write about soon as find more time.

Books i want to Read:

India Divided: Diversity and Democracy under Attack (Paperback)
by Vandana Shiva

Mgmt. : Words of Wisdom : #1

I have always wanted to capture the words of wisdom that my boss showers upon me, whenever am facing a problem and approach him with it. Lot many of these pearls were lost, to be buried in my mind and applied while facing a particular problem. Henceforth, am going to capture these here in my blog (for my own reference and for the benefit of my readers).

Problem #1.
Your peers / superiors bypass you (intentionally / un-intentionally) to reach your subordinates and forget to keep you in loop.

Solution #2.

1. Make sure the sub-ordinate informs you [officially] of such communication / requests before he processes / acts upon it. (you have to earn this privilege within your team, though)
2. Have him/her to reply back to you, copying the original requestors in the cc, as to what he is supposed to do & asking for your guidance.

Reasoning:

1. This shows your peers / superiors, that they have not done the right thing by bypassing you to your sub-ordinate
2. This shows your team depends upon you for guidance
3. Reminds everybody involved about the existance of the process & etiquitties everybody should adhere to
4. Avoids any undercurrents and puts the requestors off balance, with no other way to respond but communicate to you directly

Bangalore? Silicon Valley? BOOOOOO!!! Where ARE we?

13th Apr 2006
Bangalore burns!

• 8 people killed
• Over 250 Injured
• An estimated $160 Million loss
• Vehicles set to fire
• Mob on crazy, mindless rampage

Rajkumar's demise comes as a loss, true!
But the aftermath, the mindless rage and violence raises many disturbing questions!
The IT City with 6 Mil. ppl., came to a standstill for the next two days. UnImaginable.
Crores of loss.
And the inability of the police force to control the mob was so edivent and shocking on the live broadcast.
In fact, the police was running for their dear lives out of a bus being stoned by the mob.

To watch the vehicles burn and the cheering mob surrounding the burning vehicle was literally a bunch of monkeys around a bonfire - mindless, thoughtless, sadistic, moraleless, braindead, illiterate.
As a vehicle owner myself, i could just imagine the plight of the poor owner.
And my blood boils!
The impact is not very healthy - money apart, the stress, fears, hate, anger, and the rage of emotions triggered by such displays!

None of the so called "fans", who were on the rampage showed any trace of the thespian's loss / sadness but rather cheering and jumping monkeylike running around throwing stones and wrecking havoc.

What "fans" would not oblige to the pleadings of Dr. RajKumars' sons / wife, to let them do the last rites in peace?

How safe are "we" - "the comman man", the tax payer, the so called mass, in this democratic country?
How will there ever be any sanity, with this kind of mass?
What can be done to bring in the self awareness among such mob on rampage?

Are we as people so mallable, that anybody can provocate such sporadic violence???!!!

Democracy by definition is
   - of the people,
   - by the people and
   - for the people.

Does this apply for anything on the name of democracy?
Violence included???!!!

One Hundred Lessons for Project Managers from NASA

2006.11.04

A Interesting read from niceguyeddie's blog.

100 Lessons for Project Managers, from NASA

Some of them are very much applicable to what am doing.
Got to read & Contemplate in depth. Got to steal some time to read this at home!